So I wrote the following post the day before the terrorist attack on the city I live, Manchester and filed it in drafts to publish at a later date. The next day the attack happened and this post came to mind and how much more relevant it is to me. In a way, I felt it was preparation, to some degree, and has given me the next steps to take.
Earlier this month my whole world felt like it crumbled around me. One second I was about to pop out to run the most mundane of errands. The next, like an earthquake, I received a call that brought everything I thought was solid and safe, crumbling to the ground.
In that moment the fight or flight response was so tangible it was like my mind decided already for me and rushed off, packed our bags, and left town!
BUT, once my mind ran back to ask why I hadn’t run already, another option opened up to me. A much scarier option but one that offered not only a solution, but maybe even the promise of change I have craved of for so long.
It was then fight brought with her courage said “Come on….You’ve got this!”
The next couple of days courage held me up even when all I wanted to do was crumble along with everything else around me. But then I did crumble, however, just for a moment. I let the tears pour out like I was opening the release valve to my emotions. It was just what was needed.
Then hope came in the form of questions.
I sat on my bed and asked no one in particular, “I’ve tried everything. I’ve worked so hard. I’ve trusted. Had faith. Followed teachings of hope, Miracle Morning, etc etc to a T, and yet here I am….still…..no change with things just getting worse. What do I do to bring the changes I want to see in my life? Then an answer just popped in my head. Let me say now that I make no apology for this because it was what literally came to me that second.
“There’s magic in creativity.” – I then had an image of colours on a page with words bringing that something I long for to life. Like that very act of creating with intention was itself an act of life. I really can’t explain it any better.
I then thought about art and creativity being a very healing practice. This is what I needed. Not just for myself, but for those around me. Putting it all together I decided this was perhaps the answer I had been waiting for. Not only that, it was all I had to go on.
In that moment I knew what I had to do.
I will embark on a journey which my inner self has actually been tugging me towards for some time now but I never really had the courage (or sense of direction to take for that matter) to set off on.
I won’t be alone. I’m going to share this journey with a close friend and on my social media. I will explore…
- Finding my unique style
- Self expression – listening to that inner voice and intuition
- Creating as a form of healing
- Creating as an act of bringing dreams to life
- Sharing as a form of inspiration, love and support for others
- Art through different mediums – Creative journaling, planning, and on the canvas
- Challenging and breaking down structures and limited thinking, all of which use fear which holds us back
To do this I need commit time each week to this practice. I only know the first few steps to take but they say (and I know you’ve all heard this quote so many times before) “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu. I’m excited to see where this journey will take me. I feel I’ve been playing in the shallows but life wants me to now learn how to swim, so it very cruelly pushed me in the deep end!
Before I end this post, at the time these events occurred and just before, I happened to be reading a book titled ‘Courage, The Joy of Living Dangerously’. Funny isn’t it, how things like that happen.